Creepy clowns create a commotion

By MaCayla Jablonski, editor-in-chief.

One thing we’re all wondering is what caused this clown chaos to arise. Did it start as a prank gone wrong? Has it always been aimed to scare and hurt people? Recently these copycat clowns have been seen in Michigan– and we Michiganders are not having it.

According to WRKR radio in Kalamazoo, these creepy clowns have been spotted in over 20 cities in Michigan so far, including Mount Pleasant, Saginaw and Flint. They have been known to be hostile, dangerous, and in well enough shape to chase their prey for miles.

With sightings becoming more frequent and closer to the tri-cities, some Delta College students find themselves frightened, yet prepared for an encounter with a clown.

Matthew Kowalczyk, 19-year-old Delta student, says he has heard of the clown attacks, but doesn’t know all of the in-depth information about what is happening. He says he is prepared for a possible encounter with a clown.

“I would go full Batman training on him,” says Kowalczyk. “I would totally sprint at him, probably do a flying-reverse kick into his face and then break his arms.”

Kowalczyk says that these clowns deserve punishment for trying, and succeeding, to frighten people living their everyday lives.

“If they’re trying to scare people in my city… it’s a bad idea. No one scares the people in my city,” says Kowalczyk.

Griffen Kranz, a Delta student from Bay City, says that he would be willing to kill a clown if need be.

“I’d punch that dude in the face! I’d go stupid on him. He’s not touching me!” says Kranz.

While some students are prepared and ready to take action, other students find themselves more nervous about the possibility of being a victim of a clown attack.

Mary Balzer, 18-year-old Delta student, is afraid of seeing a clown because she knows they can be dangerous.

“Honestly I would just run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I have no idea what I would do if it actually happened to me,” says Balzer.

As the number of clowns in Michigan rises, so does the number of arrests. According to Detroit Free Press, two 18-year-old women from Roseville were arrested earlier in October for dressing up as clowns and chasing two younger girls down the street while screaming at them.

According to ABC 7 in Detroit, a man dressed as a clown was arrested after committing a string of metro Detroit robberies. He was detained after being found in a wooded area in Aberdeen, Ohio.

So with police cracking down on the clown madness, it might be in everyone’s best interest to opt out from dressing as clowns for Halloween. But just know if you do, Delta students are ready to defend their honor.

 

What to do when confronted by a clown

  1. First, call the cops.

They can be your backup, as if you’d need it.

  1. Start carrying mace whenever you leave the house, and hell, even when you’re in your house.

You never know.

  1. Hide behind a large tree.

This will give you shelter so the clown is unable to find you.

  1. Pretend you are someone else.

If a clown is coming at you, simply stop and tell them that they’re confusing you with someone else. Eight times out of 10, they’ll believe you.

  1. Get in shape and run the other way.

Odds are they won’t be able to catch you, probably.

  1. As the clown starts running at you, start running toward the clown.

This will confuse the clown, scare them, and make you the creepy one instead.

 

Stay safe out there.