By Aubrie Smith, copy editor.
Relationships have always been a weird concept for me. Honestly, they still are. Before recently, I had dedicated the better part of myself to someone else for most of my high school experience. I found the man I thought I was going to marry pretty early, and assumed we would spend the rest of our lives together.
Unfortunately, like a lot of high school relationships, it didn’t work out. We grew into different people, and that’s okay. Sure, for five years, I felt like I knew what I wanted. But college changed both of us.
Now, being in the dating scene is weird. I don’t know how to connect with people the way I connected before. Either I’m not emotionally invested enough, or I’m overbearing and annoying. I’m riding this line of the unknown, and it’s scaring the hell out of me.
I flip this switch between being ready to move in with someone, and start the rest of my life with them, to not wanting to date at all in the matter of seconds; it’s hard for another person to keep up. It becomes suffocating for them. I’m always moving too fast or too slow. I don’t understand the concept of a normal dating timeline. I scare people away.
I guess I’m living under the assumption that “what’s meant to be will be.” That if I find the right person, a speed will be settled on, and we’ll click in a way where things work out for the best. But, is that honestly reality? Will I really find someone that’s on the same page as I am 100% of the time? It’s doubtful.
Sure, I’m hoping to find my someone soon. I always wanted to be married with kids by 28. As I get older, that dream seems like it’s slipping away. Where is the time going?
The fact of the matter is, my long ass relationship didn’t end in marriage, and that’s okay. There is no time limit on those kinds of decisions. As cheesy as it sounds, communication is key. And, of course, communication is where I suck. Whether you’re together for seven years or seven months doesn’t matter. If getting married feels right, that’s amazing. Relationships depend on love, communication, commitment, and choices.
Right now, I’m focusing on myself. Yes, I want a serious relationship, but i’m going to let that come. I see no point in searching for it or seeking it out. When it comes, it comes. And when it does, I hope that it’s fulfilling. I hope that communication is our strongest point, and that things work out for the best. Until then, I wait.
By Josie Dudek, copy editor.
Relationships have always been a weird concept for me. I would look in the right places for the wrong people, or in the wrong places for the right people. I had issues with being tied down and changing my Facebook relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship.” Even writing the words “In a relationship” today still seems unusual for me. But, I found the one and I took the scary, but anticipated, leap into the pool of a committed relationship.
Once I got used to the feeling of sharing my life with someone, there’s been no turning back. It’s so weird to think of the times in my life when I didn’t wake up every morning next to the love of my life, come home to find dinner waiting and going to bed with my skin pressed against his. So, we took the next big jump, and he put a ring on it.
Technically, we are engaged. It is an engagement ring that he gave to me, and we did change our relationship statuses to “engaged” on Facebook, that makes it official, right? Even so, we have decided not to get married anytime soon. I still have at least 6-8 more years of school ahead of me and he still has 4, we don’t have the amount of money we want to put toward our grand wedding and we are only 20-years-old. There’s no rush on our end to get married, but ever since I started wearing the rock on my ring finger, the pressure is on from the people around us.
He and I both know that we want to be together forever, and we do plan to get married one day in the future. The truth is, we both wanted the ring as a symbol of a promise that we will one day get married, but it does not signify that our special day will be in the next couple of years. Only being 20 and not familiar with the world of relationships, I still refer to him as just “my boyfriend,” never my fiance (unless I’m feeling fancy) and he does the same. It’s kind of an unspoken agreement between us. We feel too young to use the words “fiance” and “husband” or “wife,” but we know that someday we will be ready to put those terms into action.
So, until then, my lovely boyfriend and I are happily between the stages of simply being “boyfriend and girlfriend” and being officially “engaged.” What is the point of using labels anyway? If you both know where you are and what you’re doing, labels are meaningless. Be happy and comfortable with your partner, and you’ll always be on the same path as them.