By Lindsey Schibelhut, Senior Reporter.
I remember it like it was yesterday. In the summer of 2010, my family was getting the internet installed in our home for the very first time. My excitement was palpable as I was looking forward to connecting with family and friends I didn’t see very often. Almost immediately, I started signing up on different social media platforms such as Myspace, Facebook and Twitter. However, my excitement would be short lived due to the behaviors of many family members using said platforms.
One of the first places I started friending family, was on Facebook. I put out friend requests to multiple cousins and they all accepted the requests. Yet a while after the requests were accepted, their behavior towards me changed. I would post “Hi” and “How are you doing?” messages and never get a reply, but I would see them replying to each other. When I finally did get a reply it was to say, “Sorry can’t talk now, going out with friends.” Soon after that message they changed their privacy settings on Facebook, making it impossible to communicate. This left me wondering why I was getting treated this way, so I went to Twitter and started friending family there. The same cousin that changed their privacy settings went on to block me on Twitter too. I made mention to adult family members that I thought some cyberbullying was happening, one made an attempt to find out what was going on. For this I got an angry Facebook message from another cousin telling me not to vent my frustrations to adults and that “I can’t force family to be friends.” (FYI I never forced them to accept that friend request, but I digress). Eventually they both blocked me on Facebook – I never communicated with those two cousins again.
In another incident involving Facebook, yet another cousin and I were having issues. Again I was being nice and trying to communicate with them, but the behavior changed. I would get condescending comments thrown at me for a myriad of things (including me posting news articles to my Facebook page), but one of the most hurtful comments occurred over me trying to wish them a Merry Christmas. I wasn’t going to be able to attend a Christmas celebration at their house, so I decided to wish them Merry Christmas in advance. The comment I received was something to the effect of, “It’s not even Christmas yet. What is the meaning of Christmas really?” quite facetious and rude. We had a few other problems after that, so I stopped communication again because it wasn’t worth anymore hurtful episodes.
Ultimately though, the worst experience I had involving Facebook, had to do with an adult relative of mine I had also friended. Multiple posts they were “liking” amongst other comments would lead to my mother and I figuring out that they were gay. This person had been lying to our entire family for more than 20 years (after their divorce) still expecting us believe they were straight – to this day their own parents aren’t aware of the truth. We were blamed for invading their privacy because we looked at their Facebook page. If anyone hasn’t realized this yet – NOTHING you post on social media or elsewhere is private – if it’s in the internet sphere quite likely someone will find it. The unraveling of their multitude of lies, led to them blocking us on social media and sending us threatening emails. We severed all ties with them and try not to have anymore contact.
After all of these horrible incidents on social media you may now be thinking “Wow, you you must really hate it!” And to that I say – I don’t hate the medium, I just hate how people use it. By people using the medium so poorly, it just helped expose them for who they truly are. It unmasked the facades they put on when we were together in person. It also helped me realize that I didn’t need their kind of negativity in my life. Social media can only be as useful as those who are wielding it. Right now, I wield it to spread the news through my work as a staff reporter. If you use it to do positive things, there will more than likely be a positive outcome. The opposite also holds true, but with hurtful and sometimes devastating consequences. So as we ring in this new year, let’s use social media to spread kindness and positivity – the world could use a giant dose of it right about now.