By Marie Martin, Delta College Student Submission
It seems like everyone in my life has a strong political opinion, and they don’t all match up with my own. Keeping an open mind and resisting the urge to convince people of my perspective has been saving many of my relationships. It’s been difficult when the person I’m talking to is a loved one or close friend who expects me to share their opinion, even if we have opposing viewpoints. What’s even more challenging is when they expect me to agree with them while making disparaging comments about people who hold a different view.
One situation that stood out was when a long-time friend and I were talking. She didn’t ask for my perspective, assumed I shared hers, and began calling people who weren’t Republicans ignorant and foolish.
Since this person is someone I’ve always known to be empathetic and caring, it surprised me that this was coming from her. My initial response was frustration and upset, but then I wanted to diffuse the situation. If I’ve had this issue, I thought, maybe others have too.
So here are my reflections on the topic of navigating political disagreements in the hopes that you can drop the drama.
Remember, it’s not your responsibility to have difficult conversations with loved ones just to change there mind or agree with them. This can be especially hard when that person is someone you care deeply for, or an authority figure in your life, such as a parent. But the bottom line is, they have lived a life that is different from yours. Their viewpoint is shaped by beliefs and experiences built over a lifetime.
Do your best to hear them out, because when a person becomes impassioned, they may not always communicate clearly. They could be trying to communicate something other than what’s actually being said. With this in mind, when you want to avoid possible conflict or fallout, try asking them questions. This will help you understand why they hold that opinion.
But if nothing else works, here is what you can do:
1. Stay Calm
It’s easy to get upset, but by staying calm, you remain in control of yourself and your part of the conversation. The temptation to get caught up in negative emotions may be strong, but staying centered will make you less likely to say something you may regret later.
2. It’s Okay to Acknowledge Without Sharing Your Perspective
Sometimes the best thing you can do when handling conflicting opinions is hear them out and keep your opinion to yourself. By not sharing your opinion, you prevent giving ammunition to someone who feels passionate about a topic and may disagree with you. This simple tactic could prevent a disagreement or, worse, a fight.
3. Set Your Boundaries Without Shame
If you choose to share your perspective, remember that respecting your own opinion will show others they need to respect it as well. Boundaries are essential for self-growth and self-respect. By being in charge of yourself, you hold onto your power without giving it away. This can be a powerful tactic in diffusing a possible argument before it happens, simply by showing you have self-respect and firm boundaries.
4. Let Go of the Need to Win
The goal isn’t to “win.” A loved one or an authority figure may not like to be contradicted or may feel threatened if you share your perspective with the mindset of winning. Just imagine how you would feel if someone was trying to convince you that a strongly held belief was wrong. Over time, you would likely hold resentment for that person. To avoid long-term resentment, approach the conversation knowing that you are not responsible for changing the other person’s perspective. After all, you only have control over what you do, not what the other person does.
5. Know Your Limits
If you’ve kept an open mind and entered the conversation willing to hear the other person’s perspective but they’re still being negative, know when it’s time to take a break or change the topic. It’s okay to say, “I love you, but I can’t talk about this with you right now. Maybe we can revisit it later.” If the other person gets upset, they were likely going to get mad anyway. You do not have to be the target of their negativity. You can choose to walk away and save the conversation for another day.
Ultimately, conversations are about managing political tension with loved ones, even if they have opposing political or other views. This can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to lead to conflict. By staying calm, setting healthy boundaries, and understanding that it’s not your responsibility to change someone’s mind, you can navigate these conversations with grace. Remember, it’s okay for disagreements in relationships. The goal isn’t to win the argument but to maintain the relationship.
