By Gabrielle Martin, News Editor.
It’s the time of year when many parents are scrambling to find that perfect gift and children are sneaking hints to their parents about what they would like to find under the Christmas tree. According to Parenting.com, parents spend an average of $271 on Christmas gifts – per child; however, the most valuable gift parents can give their children (and vice versa) is free.
“Spending time with our parents – whether we’re younger or a little bit older – is really important for our self-worth, our self-esteem, and our understanding of who we are,” says Jill Harrison, associate professor and coordinator for the child development program at Delta College.
For many families, though, time is hard to come by.
“One of the things that’s changed a lot over the last 50 years is we have a lot more families where both parents are working so when parents aren’t there, then it’s less time for them to spend with their kids,” says David Baskind, professor of psychology at Delta College.
Parents of older children face the challenge of not only finding time to spend together in their own schedules, but in their children’s schedules as well. Mark McRae, a computer science student at the college, is a father of two sons who are 23 and 21. He says now that his own life is slowing down, his kids’ lives are speeding up.
Harrison adds that the prevalence of technology in today’s society makes it even more challenging to spend quality time together as a family. Even when parents aren’t working in the office, they can answer an e-mail on their phone or finish a report on their laptop.
McRae says technology is even taking over face-to-face communication within families. “Sometimes, it’s easier to send a text or some type of other message than to have face-to-face communication.”
As parents and children try to balance their lives at work, home and school (while maintaining a healthy social life) giving the gift of time may seem like, well, it takes too much time. “Giving a gift is maybe easier than giving time. [Parents] can go to the store, they can pay their money, and it takes them all of 10-15 minutes, maybe less if they’re shopping online,” says Baskind. “Time is, I think these days in a lot of families, a much more precious commodity.”
This is not to say that you either need to spend time with your children this Christmas OR give them gifts. The two can be combined. Harrison and Baskind suggest that one way to accomplish this is by getting a gift that you can enjoy with your child, such as a board game, tickets to a Red Wings game or even a movie that the whole family can enjoy.
Hard as it may be to come by, making the effort to spend time together is worth the effort. According to an article published in the journal “Family Relations,” spending time engaging in leisure activities leads to emotional bonding within the family.
“Time is much more valuable than any kind of gift,” says Baskind. “The gift may be appreciated at the moment and it may or may not get used down the road, but time is irreplaceable.
Harrison suggests taking advantage of the time that children have off of school to bond with them and spend quality time together. Melissa Nelson, a dental hygiene student at Delta College, is planning on doing just that.
“I can now spend time with my family, go Christmas shopping and make cookies and watch movies together,” says the 21-year-old. She is also excited for the many traditions that her family has this time of year – one of which is watching “A Christmas Carol” together on Christmas night.
