By Denise Pena, Guest writer.
Dating at any age can be stressful. In a time where our focus is always split, when did we cross over from casually meeting someone in a restaurant or a library, to meeting someone through our phones or computers?
Online dating, for many, is convenient due to a packed schedule. There are many different sites that cater to an individual’s specific wants. Whether you enjoy something more casual or want to meet the love of your life, there can be something for everyone.
Danielle Henderson, 28, a nursing home manager, has had success with online dating. “I’ve gone on a few dates from men I have met through OkCupid. It’s okay, sometimes you have to risk it. If it’s good, then you enjoy it, but if it’s bad at least you got a free meal out of it.”
According to Match.com, there are over 40 million Americans who use online dating services. Some are individuals who simply want a casual fling, and who turn to dating apps such as Tinder, or Grindr which caters to gay and bisexual men.
Married individuals have also been known to use online dating services. Ashley Madison, the front-runner of online dating sites for extramarital affairs, has 1.3 million customers and for $249 you are guaranteed an affair. The U.S. spends $72,760.50 a year to be a part of Ashley Madison, according to an article published by Fusion.com.
Some sites provide questionnaires to match you with another person who may share the same views as yourself. Sites such as eHarmony, Match and OkCupid offer this option. Most dating sites offer a free subscription. But, there are some restrictions if you would like to access the entire website or app — you’ll need to pay for those features, which depending on the site, can vary from $1 up to $300 a year.
“I don’t even know how to approach a girl on Tinder without being creepy. Maybe it’s just myself, but I get no love on that site,” said Brandon Gennette, 25, a graduate student at Wayne State University.
Gennette, who has been single for two years, has tried Tinder and eHarmony. When asked why online dating does not always work out he said “I would rather have a conversation, not some bullshit pickup lines.”
There is always the risk of meeting someone in person and having them be completely different in real life. The term “catfish” is defined as someone posing as someone else to pursue romantic online relationships. Tiffany Rienhart, 27, a social worker for the city of Saginaw, has experienced this firsthand.
“Online dating is stressful. What if he doesn’t look like his picture and I’ve been catfished again?” asks Rienhart.
If you do consider getting into online dating here are some tips to ensure that you find either that special someone, or at least just a date.
Upload a picture of yourself that is relatively recent, preferably within the last year or so. Do not use someone else’s picture, or even an extremely old one when you were 30 pounds lighter. No one appreciates meeting someone who does not look like their profile picture.
Do fill out your profile biography. Insert a few facts about yourself as well as a few interests, but don’t go too much into detail, leave something for mystery’s sake. Do not leave it blank, that’s a clear red flag, or even fill it out so you tell your entire life story. No one will read it, and if they do, they will skim it. Do be specific in your search for the type of person you would like, such as age, sex and the distance. If you don’t have a preference to any of this criteria, you could be subject to some interesting conversations.
An important factor to online dating is that you have to be open to meeting these individuals in person, but with a method of caution. Depending on the individual, he or she might be willing to exchange numbers; make sure you are comfortable giving that away, and if you are not, let the person know. Always let someone, either a friend or family member, know where you will be and meet the person in a public setting. You can always have a friend accompany you to this date and have them sit in a different part of the restaurant as well.
You want to be honest, not only to yourself, but with all of the potentials dates that you may have. Ask yourself if you are joining any of these sites out of boredom or if you genuinely want to meet people. What do you want to get out of it?
Make a list, be willing to compromise on the smaller things. You will not find your prince charming right away, but with a little time and sorting through the hundreds of messages that contain a variation of the same conversation over and over again, you may find one or maybe a couple that you are attracted to.
