Taylor Swift fans you can’t gaslight me this time

It won’t work

By Nic Longstreet

Well, it’s October 3rd. For many, it’s another day, one that will fade into obscurity and distant memory. For some, it’s happy Friday, maybe a birthday or something. But for the most basic, annoying white girl in your life, it’s that day mentioned in Mean Girls, and their goddess, queen, and patron saint’s day of celebration: Taylor Swift released an album, “The Life Of A Showgirl”

I want to just take a moment to apologize to all my musically inclined friends. I’m sorry I ever tried to tell you that Taylor Swift is a good songwriter… Clearly, as of this album, that era of her life passed her by. “Folklore,” had me in awe, it was the first album of Swift’s that made me really consider her as a generational artist. But since then it’s become questionable.

The whole album sonically sounds like one song. Like all 12 songs could be one long song. That says a lot for the cohesiveness of the album, but the listenability? No. It’s boring. And lyrically? Go to X and type Taylor Swift in the search, sift through the mindless adoring swifties and you’ll find the truth.

“Did you girl-boss too close to the sun?” is a real Taylor Swift lyric in 2025. It’s antics like that in the album that come off as corny and seem like she is reaching for relatability. It’s okay to be an out of touch billionaire, but you have to accept that you’re out of touch.

She has contributed heavily to CO2 emissions and is a billionaire with not a single worry in the world, other than maybe which house you’ll be staying in for the weekend. Meanwhile us regular folk are talking about the price of eggs…still. And the tariffs.

So the real question is how long is she going to play the whole “girl who was never accepted” role? She has one of the highest tallies of Grammy’s, remade her own albums and literally her fans ate it up. Have we forgotten “The Eras Tour” already? A 3 hour show. It was her fans who willingly, and their friends who out of the kindness granted to them by the universe, sat through all of it.

Don’t take my critique as a misunderstanding. The music industry elite is mostly men who actively use misogynistic tactics to devalue women and make themselves richer. But Taylor Swift is worth 1.3 billion (with a B) dollars. I don’t know any other musician moving like she is just from the music. She’s been in the industry for so long and released so many albums that I’m not surprised she has that much money, but it’s just as corny as DJ Khaled calling his 2013 album “Suffering From Success.” Like, are we serious?

So when we get songs that sound like she cut up words and threw it together (“Wood”) it’s very disappointing. Tell Lana Del Rey to either 1. finish that album sooner or 2. get in a writing room with Ms. Swift, because this is atrocious.

And the title track with Sabrina Carpenter is oddly reminiscent of Swift’s attempt to seem “current” when she added Ice Spice to Karma (No, I did not forget). It works better, only because they actually have some things in common (ish) (you know, really insubstantial pop music with some meaning…I guess) but it still seems like she was trying too hard.

I won’t even address the Charli XCX jab, it’s not worth it. How are you as one of the most successful female artists of right now, if not ever, going to take a shot at a younger artist who is just now receiving their flowers? Make it make sense.

All I can say is try again.

1 out of 5 stars. Horrible.